


My Thoughts

by DDVZ



Category: iCarly
Genre: Hurt-Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-06
Updated: 2010-01-06
Packaged: 2013-10-02 16:54:13
Rating: K+
Chapters: 2
Words: 470
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5645549/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1177299/DDVZ
Summary: Just thinking....





	1. My Thoughts

My Thoughts Alone on a Wednesday Morning

*sigh* Love is what I want. What I want most in the world, so much that I fall in love with every endearing couple I see in television and video games and whatnot.

Is it so strange for a man to feel this way? To want to be able to hold something and to feel secure about its place in your world.

Maybe if I hadn't messed up the first time or the second time or the third time or the fifth time....maybe without the APD I would've found love....

Maybe if I had messed up still I could've found a way to fix it...Maybe...

But I still mess up every single time.

I will not accept my fate, even though I have already been resigned to a life bereft of meaningful companionship.

No one has ever been there for me, and no one will ever be there for me.

It's just me, whoever I can find on the Internet, and all the booze and weed I can get my hands on.

To drink it all away...

Could we have found love that time? Was it really so much to ask?

I suppose it is for a sick stalker...

I want to love someone and to be loved by someone.

I'm tired of being alone and can't imagine such feelings any longer.

I just hope that love finds me someday soon.

And so I turn to another Jalex fic because there are so many Seddie fics out there now.

I won't be here again tomorrow or the next day...

But maybe after that I'll be here again.

To think about all the crazy things I'd do for any girl who came my way...

(at least 16, preferably 18 or older, and somewhat/moderately attractive anyways)

Maybe Sam...Maybe if I hadn't messed up so many times we would be.....


	2. Author's Note

I'd wanted there to be an extra return before the last line....

anywho, pretty obvious what it's about. not connected with anything.

just set up between freddie and sam so i could post it here.

probably my first k rated story xd

for those wondering...APD stands for Avoidant Personality Disorder and boils down to EXTREME fear of rejection and is often coupled by some sort of social phobia. It's antithesis is Dependant Personality Disorder which you've all seen at some point (clingy).

and just so you understand how APD works. I once had to go to the bathroom on a train really bad, but had to wait 40 minutes because I could not ask the lady sitting next to me to get up. pretty pathetic if you ask me. and no I'm usually not that bad.


End file.
